Contemplating in Stereo Pt. 1

I just measured my facial features and discovered that besides a slightly slouching eye, I am symmetrical. According to something that I once watched with someone that said something, I am attractive. This is the break that I've been waiting for for at least a long time. Now I can show off my handsomeness and not be ashamed at how aggressively pensive or deliberately unqualified I've ever felt at "hot people" parties. I think I'm going to apply for a Hollywood movie, like a sports dramedy or a romantic thriller with Beverly D'angelo and Meredith Baxter Berny. Yes sir I'm on my way to the golden globes.