Here is where I am at the time

Dear Diary,
I wonder if there was any woman on earth at any point in time named Diary. Should I have used a question mark after that sentence? I knew that I should have used one there, which I did. To wonder though, is that a question? I think its questioning, its like the act of it anyway. Screw it I'm starting over.
I am going, what old people fond of "sayings" would call, "stir crazy". I am unemployed and very, very intelligent. Forget I said intelligent, I meant to say frustrated. I said intelligent because I have convinced myself that I need to be more positive. But being positive in spite of the situation seems inhibiting. That is, I need to vent, creatively. I need some sort of catharsis which doesn't exist in positive thinking. I read that all good art is created in discontent. I don't really agree with that unless I'm forcing myself to think positive under negative circumstances.
I am married with a child on the way. It's great. It is a lot to worry about. I am spinning in circles trying to get a hold of the brass ring of organization. you get the imagery right? The brass ring on the carousel and whatever. I realize that was pathetic but I'm in a bathrobe at 3:45 in the afternoon. How the hell will I ever be a good provider for my family in a bathrobe. Bathrobes are a very sad instrument of self pity. You can not be your most effective in any format while in a bathrobe. In fact, I'm sure that if I were not wearing this lousy towel with a belt that this blog would be far more readable.
I'm the kind of person that needs to make something. You know, like art. But I hate saying its art because I hate people that automatically consider some sort of marginal output "art". Like a cake decorator referring to his pastry as "art". Art needs to be transcendent of the medium. No sir that is a cake, it is made for consumption, you went to culinary school, it is a cake. I went to art school, I make pretentious crap, it is art. Its a metaphysical equation, like the one that equals happiness or unity or in some countries, recreational fasting. I really don't know what any of that means by the way.
That is an overview of right this very moment of where I am at the time. It will change and I will write about it. But I really had no fun doing this.